Have you ever experienced a moment in your life when you look yourself in a mirror and your reaction was: ''What happend?'' You just couldn't believe that this is your body.
This happend to me today. I was in bathroom just after double T25 workout. I looked in a mirror and it shocked me. I don't know how is possible that this happend to me. I mean I know why, I know the reason. I just can't believe how is it possible that i didn't noticed it myself.
Let me first tell you something about myself. I'm Sara and I am 16 years old. I'm comming form small country in Europe named Slovenia and english isn't my native language so I am so so so sorry for all spelling mistakes that I will make.
I used to be really skinny when I was younger. Everybody were telling me that I need to gain weight cause I'm so skinny. And to be real, back then it didn't feel good. It felt like I am not good enough. And because of that I started eating a lot. A lot of bad junk food. Everytime I got my pocket money I used it for junk food. And that's how my problem started. I became obsessed with it. Crisps every week, chocolate every week, soda drinks all the time. And so I gained weight. At first it felt nice cause people stopped telling me how skinny I was. But the problem was that i didn't workout at all. I'm clumsy and bad at sports. So all i did was eat, sleep and being on my computer.
I used to be really skinny when I was younger. Everybody were telling me that I need to gain weight cause I'm so skinny. And to be real, back then it didn't feel good. It felt like I am not good enough. And because of that I started eating a lot. A lot of bad junk food. Everytime I got my pocket money I used it for junk food. And that's how my problem started. I became obsessed with it. Crisps every week, chocolate every week, soda drinks all the time. And so I gained weight. At first it felt nice cause people stopped telling me how skinny I was. But the problem was that i didn't workout at all. I'm clumsy and bad at sports. So all i did was eat, sleep and being on my computer.
First signs that something isn't right started to appear last summer. But I didn't really care about them. I actually started running but failed hard. So I stopped. And started againg this spring. Failed again.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not fat or overweight. My ITM is 20,07. So that isn't the problem. The problem is my body and how it looks.
I don't wanna look like models. They are too skinny for me. I wanna be fit, have muscles, be sexy. I wanna feel good in swimsuit for the first time in my life. And most of all I WANNA BE HEALTHY. I realised that this summer. So I started working out and running again. I had a plan, i had a lot of workouts I found on tumblr and we heart it. So I started running and doing those workouts. At first it went great. I hated running but I kept on running. And at first I loved the workouts. But they were all the same: squats, plank, jumping jacks.... And I get bored easily. And after a week or so that became a problem. I was bored doing all those things. I gave up running again and not long after that I gave up workouts too. Then in the end of august I thought about that again. I had Insanity at home for a long time. But when I watched what they were doing I knew that it is too much for me. But somehow I found Focus T25. Program is made by Shaun T and so is Insanty.
And because just watching fit girls and wishing you were them doesnt help, I stared T25. My sister joined me and so we were dying together for the first week. I felt great and I loved the workouts and Shaun T so much. Then the second week came and problems. Fist two days of second week were ok, I did both workouts. But we had school trip for three days so I didn't finish week 2.
Next week I started week 2 again. But I injured my foot the first day. And I had to rest for three damn weeks. I missed Shaun and workout for the first time in my life.
But three days before my return I injured my arm. Good job Sara really... But thanks god it was fine by monday so I started T25 from start.
First week I missed 2 workouts because I had to study so much. But I did them on rest day. Now I'm on week two. I missed 2 workouts again but I'll do them on saturday and sunday and finally finish week two.
But the food is still a problem. Giving up all candys it's so hard and i fail a lot. I really have to start eating healthy to look like I want and give 120% while working out.
I started this blog because I need to write somewhere about this. It probably won't get many viewers but I don't care. I'm doing this for myself, I not give up again. It's not a damn option anymore. I need to be healthy again and get ready for summer next year.
I have 8 months till next summer, 2 days and 9 weeks of T25 to go and I have to make them count.
Love, Sara.
P.S. Pictures I posted here are not mine. I found them on weheartit.com
